Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Hey kids, I'll be at ECCC this Friday selling ten dollar posters and some promotional magnets. This being my virgin year, there's not a lot, so get them before they're gone! I'll be at table H-13 with my good buddy Trevor Howell, who graciously donated table space to me.

I'll only be there on Friday though, after which my son Douglas 'Chuckleberry' Jackman The III , will take over and help sell my wares. He's a regular chip of the ol' block. Very easy on the eyes.

See you at the Con;


PLATMNB blog subscribers only!!! Sharlto Copley will be there in spirit (astral projecting from his bunker in South Africa) and handing out invisible neck rubs to the first fifty customers!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Elysium Poster

Neill, time to make people smile again. I've been a little to 'boo-hoo' lately. My goal in life is actually to make other people happier. To laugh a little. That or frustrate them. What could make them happier than a quick poster comp to your new film, designed by me!!!

So here's what I'm basing this all on.

AGM Heatland: So, mutant piggy thing and a factory. Both are in the poster. The pigs are our main characters. Our protagonists. A smooth talking and cynical Matt Damon pig, and a simple, dumb, Sharlto pig. Sort of a Of Mice and Men thing. They escaped the factory.

: The Elysian Fields, or the Elysian Plains, were the final resting places of the souls of the heroic and the virtuous. Our piggies are therefore heroic, and go some place like heaven. IN SPACE! Why space?

You: "While story details on the film are slim Blomkamp described it last year as “totally original, it’s my own story…It’s set on another planet, but it’s cool. It’s violent, very violent."

Wait..."but it's cool"? Of course it is! It could be "set on a dog's anus" and if you directed; it would still be cool. Wait...Asstronaughts? Uranus? Holy shit, I should be writing this down.

So, why are Copley and Damon pig creatures? It will be easier to hide Damon's short stature compared to Copley's freakishly (like, circus freakish) height. My guess is that they are on the run from an interstellar butcher, played by Jodie Foster.

So, am I close?

Douglas Holmes

(not the long dicked one; the detective one)