What the fuck?

Dude, Neill, did you see that my last post got one comment. One comment? It's Greg Broadmore!!! I expected a deluge or 'wow's' and 'holy shits'. Maybe it's because I attacked Shartlo, which was unkind. I mean, I don't need to be that kind of blog. I can be a positive blog with lots of swearing. I don't need to attack people to make others giggle. I definitely don't want to be a wedge between you and Copley.





I should never have claimed that Shartlo has gigantism. That's a serious disease and untrue. I think. I honestly don't know. I mean he could have it, but I doubt it. What I do know is that he's a phenomenal actor.

Some people say that he's a fresh face, but I think it goes beyond that. He's just fucking good at acting. He seems genuinely likable, and it comes off as genuine. Wikus made you laugh and cringe, but you always sort of rooted for the guy. Even when he was a speciest douche. You knew there was a bit more to the character. Copley is talented. You can just fucking tell. It goes beyond acting. I bet he's got ideas and stories of his own to put on film. He might even be the next Neill Blomkamp.

So that's that. I honestly feel like Shartlo was fucked at the oscars. Yeah, I lower cased the fuckers. He really had an amazing breakout performance, and because he was outside the game, he got the shaft. I honestly and truly believe that. I definitely look forward to what he does next. He's handsome as well. Not Neill handsome, but handsome.

So to Copley, sorry for the attack. You didn't deserve it. This blog will be a kind, fun, safe place for you from now on.

But watch out for Matt Damon. He's a satanist.

Doug 'WTF? IT'S BROADMORE!' Williams

I'm closing in...

That's right. Greg fucking Broadmore.

The Plot Thickens, like jizz on a heater.

Obligatory work art.

Neill, I think someone is impersonating Copley; maybe. Check this out, he comments in the post below. I don't believe him. So I come up with a simple plan. I tell him to send me an image of himself holding a sign with my name on it, and he sends these images.

Really? This is the best this imposter can do? Come on. Plus, there's all the words; Mum, Post (In the e-mail), and a reference to Meet The Feebles. A film known only to New Zealanders and low-brow cinema nerds who loved Jackson before Lord of the Rings. (On a side note, that is one of the few films to ever make me gag. When the rat takes a bite of--HUUCGHN).

It almost seems as if there is more than one person in on this. It feels like a couple of people, possibly working together. Certain wording makes me feel like a bearded fellow might be behind this. Obviously the man...or men, have a rudimentary understanding of photoshop, and a passion for fonts a step above comic sans. This is why I believe it's; SHARTLO COPLEY!

Think of it, he's an actor. Of course it will seem like someone else. That's what he does, it's his gig. He's pretending to be someone pretending to be him. Why would he do that? Think about the scandal of a mega star celebrity trying to bring down a small town blogger. It's called David and Goliath, Shartlo, you should watch it.

What? It's in a book? Really? Huh.

Man, why you doing this Shartlo. I was realizing that my last few posts were kind of mean. I don't need to be Perez Hilton. I don't need success made on the back of ridicule. I was going to make a nice post about what a great actor you are, and how my favorite line from District 9 is a clever little "now that's clever", but instead you force my hand into a defensive position. I'm on to you Copley.

Neill, watch your back.

Doug 'Worried for Neill' Williams

It Gets better

Been uber busy, so last night I cranked out a ten minute sketch before bed. Just to wind down. This thing came out. I like bits of it. I like the crustacean vibe. The pink eyes. I thought it was decently unique, until I realized I just drew the crabby version of Zieram.



I used to love that shit. I still love a lot of the ideas and shapes that Japanese designers use. It's like they have no fear of 'readability'. Sometimes a good thing; sometimes a bad thing.

So...I feel bad about my last post. I learned early on that if you have nothing nice to say, then you should say nothing at all. And picking on Copley is just...well, mean. I guess I am bitter. I just picture you guys out water-skiing together, playing Tetris side by side late into the night, giving each other oily backrubs; and yeah, I got jealous. It's especially cruel to pick on him since Copley has gigantism.

What?

Dude look at this photo:



Keep in mind Peter Jackson is just over six feet tall, and Copley had to kneel to stand next to him. Dude, photo's don't lie.

Copley 'tucking in his shirt'.

So dude, please apologize to Sharlto for me. I just let my emotions get the better of me.

(Sharlto, I can't help it, the last post was the best I've had in ages. I swear I love you dude, I know that you're really only four foot and fives inches tall. Oh shit! A bus quick, let me throw you under it!)

Doug 'probably not making friends' Williams

The new job

Hey Neill, here's some work art. Mainly focusing on the character, but then I went and added shit around him. Anyway, just an excuse for the below post.

Neill, dude glad to hear you and your buddy are working together again. I have to tell you though, Copley is totally using you. I know, you don't want to hear this, but dude....sigh....I'm hearing things. He's going behind your back and saying awful shit. It doesn't matter who I heard it from.

He says that you kick puppies. He also is saying that you can't grow a mustache , and that he grew one in District 9 just to piss you off (called it the mockingstache). He apparently told my cousin's, girlfriend's, uncle's, brothers, kid that you have twelve nipples and nine toes...total, and that you wear a wig made of goat fur. He also says you brush your teeth with clay. This isn't me, it's fucking Copley, he's totally backstabbing you!

Copley's 'mockingstache'

I have no reason to break you guys up, I mean, yeah, I'm a little jealous. Two parts for Copley and none for me? Fuck, I was in Our Town in high school. I was George, like the fucking lead and shit (Speaking of acting; The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is fucking incredible. Everyone go buy it on blu ray. It's filmed amazingly and so well acted that I need to change my pants just from thinking about it). But, shit, I'm not bitter.

Plus Copley's a terrorist. He is! He gets parts by using a gun and threatening directors. He might be doing it to you! If he is just just leave a comment as BFF and type "Hey Everyone Logs Pee!" You'll have mounties kicking in your door in no time. It'll work too, because Copley's incredibly stupid.

Copley and Jackson

Copley and Jackson unedited

Well dude, stay safe. I'm sure you know what you're doing. My guess is that you know some secret Canadian martial art, maybe Vancouver Sasquatch style and can handle anything. SASQUA-CHOP!

Have a good one dude.

Doug

PS If Sharlto Copley reads this; dude I love you. Seriously, you're a breathe of fresh air and I'm glad you're fucking acting. You were totally robbed this year at the Academy to not even be nominated. I know people who hated District 9; and even they think you were fucking robbed. Scout's honor. You add an amazing freshness to your characters. You make it look effortless, which is a good thing. Plus, you just seem like a cool fucking guy.