Eff U BP

Yo, yo, yo! What's up Neill? Shit, been awhile. I just have been crazy busy. Good busy, just busy. You know, you get it.

So at lunch today I was fuming. Look at this fucker.

Can you believe that shit? 'I would like my life back'? Really? I can think of 11 oil rig workers and their families that would really like to get their lives back. You cunt stick fucker. You pile of shit. Are you really that tone deaf? Are you that fucking dumb? If you're just evil; like cartoony evil; well then shit, I'm sorry.

So what to do with you guys. I have an idea. Don't worry, I'm not someone who thinks you should be killed or anything. I don't know you. As much as your company is making my skin crawl; maybe you guys in person are not so bad. I don't know. My guess is that you punt puppy's into a turbine to blow off steam; but shit, I don't know. Still, you can't walk away from this scott free. I think we should use the letters B and P to figure out your punishment.

At first, I thought Butt Plugs. But there's plenty of people who actually enjoy those. I mean they make them for a reason, right? Then I thought Bubonic Plague, but that goes to the whole killing thing I'm not really into. But then...it came to me. Two simple words that equal a lot of discomfort.

Butt Pigeons.

We'll launch a Butt Pigeon a day into your anus'..anus's...shit where does that apostrophe go...at any rate you're all getting pigeons up your butt. Now inserting the air cannon to launch the pigeon into your rectum probably won't be too fun, but I'm guessing the pigeon scrambling to crawl out of your anus will be even less enjoyable. Then again, I don't know you. Maybe you'll dig this it.

So fuck you, dickwad.

Shit! Neill, dude, I'm so sorry. this should be an e-mail to you but instead went to Tony "BP" Cuntwad Fucker. I think that's his name. Sorry man, next one is for you I swear. No but pigeons.

And to Tony; I genuinely hope that you are a better person than you seem to be on video. For my hopes and beliefs into the whole human race, I hope you're better than you seem to be. Honestly.

Doug