Wednesday, June 23, 2010

INTERVENTION!


Hey Neill. Man...I have to do something, something involving you. So I cranked out this piece at lunch so I could have a chat with you. Chat...I guess...well...shit...here goes...

Hey man.....psshhh....this is tough. I'm not sure how to say any of this....I think....I think you're taking on too much. I think your addicted to making films. Let me explain.

You made a great film. Right out of the gate. The rush and high must have been exhilarating. Now....I'm just saying....take it easy. Don't overdo it. this shit can kill you. See, I expect you to make another film; we all do; but three? It's too much at one time. Even Spielberg when he was on his full on film making binge in the eighties didn't take that much celluloid into his veins. Sure he produced, dabbled in some television work, but he didn't snort up three features at once. Don't deny it Neill; I been on the web.

Fine...you brought this on yourself.

Example 1: SECRET SCI-FI FLICK! The Hollywood Insider.

"It’s great news to hear that District 9 creator Neill Blomkamp has signed a deal with independent financier Media Rights Capital (MRC) for his next sci-fi movie. The bad news is that his next movie isn’t going to be District 10."

That is great news! I loved District 9. No, really I did. I'd love to see a District 10. I even have two fairly solid ideas how a sequel could play out (One's more solid than the other), and a third idea that merges the two. But I can't help but wonder if we need a District 10. I'd be the first in line if you made it (especially if it was based on my ideas), but what if there was just District 9. What if there never was an AVP. Trust me, those ideas are linked.

Example 2: DISTRICT 10! Market Saw

"DISTRICT 10 (Production title at least) is now in pre-production with filming to start in the October time frame this year. Shooting locations will be South Africa once again as well as New Zealand. There has been no word on whether it will be shot in S3D or not as of yet. You will be the first to know! Peter Jackson is again producing the sequel with Neill Blomkamp directing."

Oh! Ignore the above, you're making District 10! Fuck yeah! I think making two films at once is risky, but I bet you could pull it off. Sci-fi vs sci-fi. Maybe you could even share assets. I mean that shit is tight! Look at how secure the article is. PJ producing again! Right on! Is it going to be S3D seems to be the only real question (goodfuckingmuppets, I'm getting tired of everything needing to be in 3D). A little worried for your health...but you can probably pull off two flicks at once.

Example 3: THE FUCKING HOBBIT?!? CinemBlend

"The One Ring has picked up something from a spy who tells them that Neill Blomkamp is on board to direct The Hobbit. They haven’t been able to verify the rumor yet, but they seem pretty confident, and when it comes to Middle Earth, there’s no one better about getting this stuff right than them. "

By Gandalf's taint. Too much, too fucking much. Have you seen a middle earth movie? that shit takes time. You have to forge like a billion arrow points, and each has a fucking story on them. You can't make this your third. I mean, shit, you'd make a great Hobbit, but at the same time as your other two projects? Good fuck, no. You might as well hug Sauron's vagina eye and hope for the best. You're going to get burned!


So Neill, for your sake; slow down. 3 films at once is too much. I hated to be the one to have to tell you this, but all the warning signs were there, and somebody had to do something. Make one film for now, maybe a video or two. Rolling up three flciks at once is pure madness, and the street value of all that film could break the bank. Before you know it, you could be directing Money Tree and Sleep Country ads from an editing van down by the river. So, slow up. One at a time.

Your concerned friend;

Doug Williams




2 comments:

  1. you'll be happy to know that Neill isn't doing either The Hobbit or D10 right now, he's working on a sci-fi action film called 'Elysium.' :-)

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