Friday, January 22, 2010

2 Topics 1 Cup

That's right Neill, here comes a double dose of info. One; the picture above, and two; Greg Broadmore.

First up, a quickie of a slum butted up against a glorious future city. Is this were we are all heading? Maybe. Seems like it. Did you know corporations in America are people now? Seriously, WTF?

Anyway, so there's that pic. Thinking of doing a Siddhārtha Gautama story, but put it in the future a bit. Use the other image of the slum lord. Make that the golden city of something. Maybe.

Ok, now on to the true reason for the post; GREG BROADMORE. Did you know Greg once killed an elephant with his bare hands? How horrible, you say? Did I tell you it was to save an orphanage? Damn straight.

See I'm guessing that you know all about Greg, I mean you worked with him. There's lots of people who do not though. There are different reasons for not knowing who Greg is.

There's the fact that he is a secret world government agent. That's right, all nations claim Greg as their own. They signed a treaty allowing this when Greg was created just after WWII to stop the real Hitler (loooong story). Some people are not allowed to know Greg exist. They usually find out the hard way; that usually means Greg is wearing his ninja suit and has just split your fucking head in two! Sometimes though, he just punches their throat out. The final reason, is...well people just leave as soon as film credits start. Seriously people, the movie just ended, let it sink in!

I could write for days about Greg, and his exploits, but I know you're a busy man Neill, so I'll keep it brief.

Did you know that Greg is responsible for overseeing and building the Three Gorges dam in China? He went to China on a walkabout and was impressed with the Great Wall, so he wanted to give something back to the Chinese for impressing him. Hence that massive dam

Artist Rendition of Greg eating.

Greg became a vegetarian after realizing his favorite delicacy of blue whale was an endangered spices. No one wants to tell him that his importing of California redwood trees for consumption is decimating the state park. The man eats two a week!

I probably shouldn't tell this story, but I will. Greg is responsible for Peter Jackson creating Lord of the Rings. Peter was prepping on his knew flick Ghost Train to Zombiesville when Greg walked into his house. He was wearing dirty thick robes, and was wearing no shoes (This is when Jackson also decided not to wear shoes). He looked as though he had just walked not around the earth, but through it (He had, battle with the Mole King; another long story). "Peter," he began, "Is this what you really want to make? Another splatterfilm?"

Peter didn't know what to say. He stammered a bit and replied,"Yes...yes, I believe so."

Greg simply stared.

Peter realized he did not want to make this film. He wanted to make something grander. Something tremendous, something he would be remembered for. "No." He replied.

"Then don't."

"But...then what?"

"Look into your heart."

"It's impossible." Peter's hand were shaking. he knew what he wanted to make, but it would be more than any filmmaker could tackle. the subject matter simply would not translate to film.

"Is it? I think not." Greg placed his hands on Peter Jackson's heart, "BELIEVE." The he smiled, walked back to the door and looked at Peter. "I will return in two years, and you shall hire me." With that Greg put his index finger to his nose, blew and flew away.

Peter walked to his library. Ran his finger along a series of dusty books, finally stopping on The Lord of the Rings. Tears filled his eyes, he pulled the book from the shelf, and the rest is history.

Greg did return, cleaner, and went to work at Weta. He also played every Orc in the film.

Artist Rendition of Greg and Peter.

So there you go, a small taste of a God among men. Without Greg we wouldn't be here. No seriously, he stopped an asteroid with a well placed karate chop.

So check out Greg's work. He's a really tremendous and talented artist.

See him here and here.

Thanks for everything Greg, I really mean that! ;)

The awe inspired Doug

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