What the fuck?

Dude, Neill, did you see that my last post got one comment. One comment? It's Greg Broadmore!!! I expected a deluge or 'wow's' and 'holy shits'. Maybe it's because I attacked Shartlo, which was unkind. I mean, I don't need to be that kind of blog. I can be a positive blog with lots of swearing. I don't need to attack people to make others giggle. I definitely don't want to be a wedge between you and Copley.





I should never have claimed that Shartlo has gigantism. That's a serious disease and untrue. I think. I honestly don't know. I mean he could have it, but I doubt it. What I do know is that he's a phenomenal actor.

Some people say that he's a fresh face, but I think it goes beyond that. He's just fucking good at acting. He seems genuinely likable, and it comes off as genuine. Wikus made you laugh and cringe, but you always sort of rooted for the guy. Even when he was a speciest douche. You knew there was a bit more to the character. Copley is talented. You can just fucking tell. It goes beyond acting. I bet he's got ideas and stories of his own to put on film. He might even be the next Neill Blomkamp.

So that's that. I honestly feel like Shartlo was fucked at the oscars. Yeah, I lower cased the fuckers. He really had an amazing breakout performance, and because he was outside the game, he got the shaft. I honestly and truly believe that. I definitely look forward to what he does next. He's handsome as well. Not Neill handsome, but handsome.

So to Copley, sorry for the attack. You didn't deserve it. This blog will be a kind, fun, safe place for you from now on.

But watch out for Matt Damon. He's a satanist.

Doug 'WTF? IT'S BROADMORE!' Williams

I'm closing in...

That's right. Greg fucking Broadmore.

The Plot Thickens, like jizz on a heater.

Obligatory work art.

Neill, I think someone is impersonating Copley; maybe. Check this out, he comments in the post below. I don't believe him. So I come up with a simple plan. I tell him to send me an image of himself holding a sign with my name on it, and he sends these images.

Really? This is the best this imposter can do? Come on. Plus, there's all the words; Mum, Post (In the e-mail), and a reference to Meet The Feebles. A film known only to New Zealanders and low-brow cinema nerds who loved Jackson before Lord of the Rings. (On a side note, that is one of the few films to ever make me gag. When the rat takes a bite of--HUUCGHN).

It almost seems as if there is more than one person in on this. It feels like a couple of people, possibly working together. Certain wording makes me feel like a bearded fellow might be behind this. Obviously the man...or men, have a rudimentary understanding of photoshop, and a passion for fonts a step above comic sans. This is why I believe it's; SHARTLO COPLEY!

Think of it, he's an actor. Of course it will seem like someone else. That's what he does, it's his gig. He's pretending to be someone pretending to be him. Why would he do that? Think about the scandal of a mega star celebrity trying to bring down a small town blogger. It's called David and Goliath, Shartlo, you should watch it.

What? It's in a book? Really? Huh.

Man, why you doing this Shartlo. I was realizing that my last few posts were kind of mean. I don't need to be Perez Hilton. I don't need success made on the back of ridicule. I was going to make a nice post about what a great actor you are, and how my favorite line from District 9 is a clever little "now that's clever", but instead you force my hand into a defensive position. I'm on to you Copley.

Neill, watch your back.

Doug 'Worried for Neill' Williams

It Gets better

Been uber busy, so last night I cranked out a ten minute sketch before bed. Just to wind down. This thing came out. I like bits of it. I like the crustacean vibe. The pink eyes. I thought it was decently unique, until I realized I just drew the crabby version of Zieram.



I used to love that shit. I still love a lot of the ideas and shapes that Japanese designers use. It's like they have no fear of 'readability'. Sometimes a good thing; sometimes a bad thing.

So...I feel bad about my last post. I learned early on that if you have nothing nice to say, then you should say nothing at all. And picking on Copley is just...well, mean. I guess I am bitter. I just picture you guys out water-skiing together, playing Tetris side by side late into the night, giving each other oily backrubs; and yeah, I got jealous. It's especially cruel to pick on him since Copley has gigantism.

What?

Dude look at this photo:



Keep in mind Peter Jackson is just over six feet tall, and Copley had to kneel to stand next to him. Dude, photo's don't lie.

Copley 'tucking in his shirt'.

So dude, please apologize to Sharlto for me. I just let my emotions get the better of me.

(Sharlto, I can't help it, the last post was the best I've had in ages. I swear I love you dude, I know that you're really only four foot and fives inches tall. Oh shit! A bus quick, let me throw you under it!)

Doug 'probably not making friends' Williams

The new job

Hey Neill, here's some work art. Mainly focusing on the character, but then I went and added shit around him. Anyway, just an excuse for the below post.

Neill, dude glad to hear you and your buddy are working together again. I have to tell you though, Copley is totally using you. I know, you don't want to hear this, but dude....sigh....I'm hearing things. He's going behind your back and saying awful shit. It doesn't matter who I heard it from.

He says that you kick puppies. He also is saying that you can't grow a mustache , and that he grew one in District 9 just to piss you off (called it the mockingstache). He apparently told my cousin's, girlfriend's, uncle's, brothers, kid that you have twelve nipples and nine toes...total, and that you wear a wig made of goat fur. He also says you brush your teeth with clay. This isn't me, it's fucking Copley, he's totally backstabbing you!

Copley's 'mockingstache'

I have no reason to break you guys up, I mean, yeah, I'm a little jealous. Two parts for Copley and none for me? Fuck, I was in Our Town in high school. I was George, like the fucking lead and shit (Speaking of acting; The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is fucking incredible. Everyone go buy it on blu ray. It's filmed amazingly and so well acted that I need to change my pants just from thinking about it). But, shit, I'm not bitter.

Plus Copley's a terrorist. He is! He gets parts by using a gun and threatening directors. He might be doing it to you! If he is just just leave a comment as BFF and type "Hey Everyone Logs Pee!" You'll have mounties kicking in your door in no time. It'll work too, because Copley's incredibly stupid.

Copley and Jackson

Copley and Jackson unedited

Well dude, stay safe. I'm sure you know what you're doing. My guess is that you know some secret Canadian martial art, maybe Vancouver Sasquatch style and can handle anything. SASQUA-CHOP!

Have a good one dude.

Doug

PS If Sharlto Copley reads this; dude I love you. Seriously, you're a breathe of fresh air and I'm glad you're fucking acting. You were totally robbed this year at the Academy to not even be nominated. I know people who hated District 9; and even they think you were fucking robbed. Scout's honor. You add an amazing freshness to your characters. You make it look effortless, which is a good thing. Plus, you just seem like a cool fucking guy.

AGM Heartland

Alright. You have me. I'm hooked. What the fuck is AGM Heartland? See, Neill, I don't really want to know, but I really want to know. This was me with fucking Cloverfield. It wouldn't matter if it was you doing this or not. I'm a sucker for this shit.

Is it an ARG? I love those. I love to think I'm smart enough to play them, when really I just read forums about them and all the clues others have discovered. Like Halo 2's I love bees. That shit was tight. Cloverfield had a great one too. Of course, the one I got into the most (pre-kids) was A.I.s. It was awesome, and I did actually find shit on my own.

Is it for a movie? Is it for a tv show? A web thing? A new restaurant? OH SHIT! That would be fawking awesome! A genetic misfit themed restaurant? Oh, hellz yeah! that's mine, if you have not claimed it, it's mine.

Anyways, I'm curious as shit as to what this is. My guess? I'm thinking it's somehow related to that Die Antwoord video you were supposed to direct a long time ago. It's just a guess though.

At any rate, while looking on another site about your AGM Heartland flick I came across this post:


I'm telling you dude, we are fucking linked! It's like cosmic and shit. Like Tango and Cash. Like Robo and Cop. Like Captain and Tennille. It's in the fucking stars.

Oh, and did you see this? io9 Space Jockey art Yep, I'm working on the Alien prequel. Really. I'm not lying. I'm working.....on....it. No....I'm not. Ridley hates me. That Jockey art was spread around everywhere and in two days I had thousands of hits on this blog over the turkey break.

It's just funny that this is exactly what had happened on Cloverfield with that whale thing. Weird....it's all connecting....like a fucking ARG. Holy poo on a twinkie; am I an ARG? Is this like some Truman Show shit?

At any rate, you got me hook, line and sinker.

Douglas 'Salmones Muerte' Williams

Turkey

Guh. I had a whole other post, and I accidentally closed the window. Fuck. I'm not re-typing it.

Fuck, I can't believe I did that. It was four fucking paragraphs. Some funny shit. Dammit.

Basically, turkey feast is coming up, and I'm heading over to good ol' Port Angeles. If you travel down your little Canuckian island and go to Victoria I'll wave to you from across the straits.

The art is a photo paintover and a headcrab. Or some shit like a headcrab. Actually, it's just a head. This guys high school years probably sucked.

Oh, by the way; what the fuck?


I love this kind of shit.

Alright man, have a good one.

Doug 'turkey gut' Williams

The Fungal Monk

Neill. Sup, my supple young director? Hopefully everything is going well. Man, shit here is good. EXCEPT FOR MY FUGGING COLDE!!!! I hate colds, I do. If a cold came to life, I would totally put them in a 'D-9' camp/settlement. I would be fucking Koobus.

So anyway.

Here's evolutionary progress. A fungus that is now an enlightened monk.

Time is short. Be happy you're getting anything at all.

Alright dude, have a good one. Hey man, despite having a cold, I love this fawking weather. It's amazing right? The Northwest man, I love it.

Doug

Work Jism

Neill-fo-real. How's it hanging brother? How's it hanging with me? 3 inches...from the ground! BOO-YAH! Do we still say boo-yah? How about OPP? Behind the times. Anywhoo.

So this work was recently posted on the Undead Labs site. You should check it out. It's got a bunch of fun write ups and more art for the game we're making. I'm using a lot more photo-chopping, but it allows me to bang this shit out. I think it works for what we need. Man, there have been projects in the past where I wish that I had been this confident and quick. I think I could have done much better work on them, and lots more sleep. I guess that's growing right? the second you slow down, you're basically dead. Maybe that's why I've never been fully satisfied with any piece I've ever done. Maybe it's knowing that if I am, it's over. duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh (scary piano).

Hey shit dude, want to make a commercial for us? Like that Halo one you did? I could totally pay you like a few hundred bucks! How does that sound. A bunch of fresh crisp ones and fives rolled up your pocket? Eh? Eh? All I'm hearing are crickets. You could be a hundred dollar-aire.

Hope all is good. Look out for the crazies, they're everywhere. Like in my head.

Doug "The Professional" Williams

Blip Blorp Blop

Sup Neill dog. So my laptop is dying. Fucking laptop. It's an expensive touchy douche. I must have sneezed wrong, or accidentally turned it on. Oh well, that shit sucks, but what are you going to do? Right? Right.

So I drew this last night. It's and Elder One from Lovecraft lore. I love Lovecraft. He wrote some truly tremendous shit. It's not all tentacles and Cthulhu either. So I banged this out last night, on the ol' paper, because of my dying laptop.

Dammit.

Doug

Sculptris

Take that Jurassic Park! No, but seriously Neill, look at what you can do with free shit now. I mean, it's my first ....thing, and it's not so great, and it was made in forty minutes; but imagine how happy those guys would have been in 93 to have this tech. Crazy.

So yeah, this was made in Sculptris, a free program put out by PixelLogic. I was just messing around and made this vagina mouthed bugger. That v-flap usually would cover it's fleshy hole mouth spot. Freud is totally right; sometimes a vagina mouth is just a vagina mouth. The messed up part about the internet is that there's probably someone, somewhere, fapping to this image. To that person....

DUDE YOU'RE GROSS.

Now that I'm getting how to use the program a bit better, maybe I'll tackle something a little cooler. An Edler One from Lovecraft? Maybe. A Prawn from district 9? No, that would be fucking crazy. Way to detailed.

Anyway, have a Happy Halloween PleaseLookAtMeNeillBlmkampBlogReaders.

Doug "Fat Jack Skellington" Williams

Time Warp

Neill...no new worky work. I KNOW! I swear shit is coming, I've just been so busy. Soon I swear. I know that this blog is your main inspiration, and it makes you sad that I'm not posting as much, but I still love you. I swear. Sure, Del Toro and I had a little fling, but it meant nothing (Guillermo, it's not true, but shhhhhhh).

So I thought, let's go back....back in time!

This shit is from around 2004. I was just beginning to make digital art. Everything up until now was primarily pencil, marker and pen. Let's take a looksee...


What's Evangelion? I have no idea what you're talking about. This was when I first began lunch drawing. It's also when I packed on a lot of weight. I see no correlation.


Rar! I'm a monster! Basically at this stage I was still still drawing...but in Painter (8 I think). More lunchy work, I think I sat at my desk and at a Red Robin burger. Oh, yeah, A.Net would pick us up fast food for lunch. Hand deliver Fatburgers (It's a chain) to our desks. Lost a notch on my belt that year.


I love Hellboy. I've been reading it since I was in art school. What's crazy is how much grief the guy at the comic shop gave me for liking it. Well, now his shop is gone and Hellboy has 2 films. Way to call that one asshole. Wow, brilliant use of font on this one. Maybe I should go into graphic design. Why not use courier? I might as well have used comic sans. Or papyrus (Really, Avatar? Really?).


Wha...? Where'd the lines go. Ah, now I'm trying to paint...and apparently using a roll of lifesavers for a color palette. Jesus; this deserves to be on the side of a kickass Chevy van.


GAH!!! SHIELDS! SHIIIIIIIEEEEELLLLLLDS! (That was Sulu from XI). Good grief. Can that get more saturated? Sorry for all the monitors I burned out with this one. I still like the idea of the state trying to raise a new god with their own ideals (Since that's what basically ends up happening. Guess what, eating pork is also an 'abomination' in the Bible. So have fun eating your bacon in hell.). What? Too political? Meh.



The Inhumanoids! Kickass 80's toys with the old Dougbot update. Still way to bright, but sort of fits the originals. Those toys were so effing cool. The big difference between me as a kid buyinh Inhumanoids and now? My most recent toy cost me 600 bucks. Nerd horns!



Know what this dude is saying? "BACON PLEASE!"



Guess why I drew this 'abomination'? Oh, a little flick called Tetra Vaal. I watched it and suddenly wanted to draw sci-fi. Apparently bad sci-fi. Why would that need a human face? What was I thinking? No, really, I don't remember. Usually my art always has a story behind it in my head. A little movie. This movie must have been straight to brain video.


The Prospector. So this was a contest, and I had "Space Miner". My good buddies Kekai Kotaki and Billy Wardlaw pitched me a ton of shit for my lame sketch of a robot thing with a pick-axe like arm. So I changed the image and made this, just to spite them. Yep, I will make art out of spite. Oh, and I won the frakkin' contest.


My first piece of card art. ARE YOU LOOKING GUILLERMO?!? Ahem. It was for a Cthulhu game. What...it also doesn't have an intense use of the glow brush....I must have been learning.


This is my most favorite monster ever. The theme was 'Japan's Worst Monster'. I came up with, THE DINGLEBERRY. It's supposed to look like an old Kaiju puppet. Now the glow brush is regulated to just the eyes. Wow...finally, after 24 blind people, I stopped using the glow brush on everything. I emerge from the wilderness, a man.

Well, that's it. A little trip down memory lane.

Doug McFly

Stabby stabby

Neill! Well fuck. So my ultimate dream was me and you working on shit, before you're really working on shit. Like you'd call and be all, "Hey I gots this idea about monkey men from mars..." and the I'd be all, "Shit dude, I love me some martian monkeys. Let me draw some up." Then you'd take the images and pitch to studios. It would be perfect, because I love the Northwest, and don't really ever want to move south. But I also really want to work on films. So you being up in Vancouver is perfect. Not only because your aquarium has beluga whales, but that shit is a few hours away! So me and you drinking Mai Thais and designing shit on napkins to be rendered at my home; that was the dream. But, fuck it all, that ain't ever happening. Is it?

See, I received my copy of The Art of District 9, and in it is not only art from all the talented Weta kids, but plenty of NB sketches and and Lightwave renders (Lightwave, really? Maybe it's changed; I have not touched it since 98.). So basically this whole blog is....useless.

So let's get this straight; you write, direct, concept and make 3-d versions of your sketches that are film quality. Rad.

Sucks for me, but you are fucking ridiculously talented. Seriously.

Goodnight everybody!

Doug

ZAMBIES

Neill dog, 'sup homefries? Hopefully things are going well man. My guess is that you're busy as shit, which is why you didn't come to Portland with me. I swear I'm not some obsessed freakboy fan. I would only ask you to put lotion on its skin like once a day, and the pit is cozy. There's a couch.

So here's another work piece, I promise new home shit soon, but I'm wrapping up a mega long project, and finally making meaningful headway on it. No, I can't tell you what it is. All I can say is....I'm the new director of The Hobbit, and Bilbo will be played by Sean Penn. Actually, that's not true. I will have some work on TV though!

I'm going to have some zombie work featured in The Truth About Zombies on the National Geographic channel. Some personal work from this blog actually, and some from Undead Labs. Anyways, things are pretty fucking cool right now. Lots in the pipe.

See you in Hollywoodland.

Doug "the arms are supposed to be long" Williams

Charlacula

Dude, Neill, I fucking hate that vampire drawing I did. It's effing awful. Just saying.


Dougenstien

Wild 'effing times, man.

Hey Neill! Check out EGM number 241.0 for my pic and some art by me! Oh, also some stuff about the game we're making. We're the First Look At Undead Labs Zombie MMo on the cover! Pretty cool shit dude.

I know you already no this, but Guillermo del Toro is the fucking man. Seriously. I thought the talk would be fun, but shit dude, not inspiring. He really has a passion that motivates people around him. My buddies who came down with me walked away impressed (We're all jaded game fuckers. Dude, that shit is not easily impressed). Even my little brother, how can critique a free blowjob, walked away inspired.

Did I give him my art book? Yes, yes I did.

Dude, Neill, it was crazy. So like, Guillermo had just plunged his hand into the chest of the person asking questions right in front of me. With a sharp, and quick twist he removed the questioners still beating heart. The guy slumped down face first on the ground. Two men, clad in black arrived from either side of GDT's throne and dragged the sloppy carcass away. Then it was my turn.

Well, you know me, I'm fucking all confident and shit. Nothing makes me nervous. So there I am, at the mic, and I can feel my heart in my throat. I was sort of freaking out, in a major way. I used my shaolin breathing techniques I learned while hunting ninja and calmed my physical body down, but inside I was scared. I looked Guillermo in the eyes. His stared back into mine....steely, cold, ancient. I continued to stare, daring not to provoke him, relaxing even my jaw; knowing anything could set him off. Small crows feet appeared at the edges of his eyes, and he began to smirk. I knew I was dead, he could sense it. Deep down he could feel my inner soul quivering.

Finally I said, "You already have my heart, but I'd also like to offer you this book of art." Guillermo smiled and belted out, "Good answer! Good fucking answer, HA!" I walked up and handed him my book, and the rest is history.

Well....that's not exactly how it happened...I might have stumbled my words up.....a bit.....and been a little.....nervous.....or...you know....something like the below.....sigh.

click the image

Fuck...I really need to get in shape, and do I really walk like that?

Special thanks to Dan the man, who drove us all over Portland and captured all my insecurities and posted them on Youtube for me.

Douglas Del Toro the 3rd

Happy South African Heritage Day!

Yo Neill, so today I was talking to this lady who runs a toy store down here and she was telling us it's SA heritage day, but online it looked like it was yesterday. Anyway, she was fun and kicked ass, so I'll just say it's today.

I was hoping to put a prawn all drawn up in South African flag colors (or colours), but I just got home. Outdoor movies night for a bunch of preschool kids. Good fun. Kids are insane, or adults are. Anyway, that's why there's a quick post, and a basic flag.

Hope you had a decent braai today.

Doug

My Day Job

So Neill dude, I think you know this blog doesn't exactly pay the bills...or....pay...anything. So that's why I work as a growns up pro job, drawring zambies. Eventually more and more work will be released on the Undead Labs site, so if you can't get your Doug fix here, go there.

So how are things Neill? Hoping good. I recently watched District 9 on my iPod Nano on my bus ride home. That fucking film still rocks, even at like 1 inch by 2 inches. I can't wait to see what you do next dude, even though I was secretly hoping that it the 'next' would be you coming down to Portland....but alas. Seriously, Kennedy School is a fucking awesome hotel.

Alright man, peace out mother fucker, hope all is well with you and yours.

Doug

GAH!

OK! OK! OK! I've been half-assing it. Holy hell that vampire is awful. Is that fucking Charlie Brown? It has a Charlie Brown vibe to it. Dude, Neill, have fucking pity on me; I'm so sorry. It's a new job, and lots of other shit. I mean, I gots to be all grown up now. Lots of shit riding on my shoulders.

So, how are things going with you? Hopefully fucking rocking it. I bet you are, I bet you are. So shit dude, this Guillermo venue is waaaaaaaaayyyyyy fucking bigger than I thought it was. I'm sort of doubting I can get that book to him, unless I literally threw it at him. I mean it was a joke before, but now.....yyyyeah. I might be selling a barely used Doug Williams art book with a preface directly acknowledging Guillermo del Toro. Still waiting to hear if you're coming along. It'll be fucking fun.

So here's another quick piece of art, but it's better than that fucking Charlie Brownacula from the last post. It didn't have that red eye thingy until the last minute, after thinking about this image: click me buttnuggets.

So there you go. Also, I have some art on this site, and more coming this week. So check that shit out. Seriously, I have children. Undead Labs.

Dougsta

Dazzled

Dude, seriously, are you coming to Portland with us? I really need to know. I can drive...from here. I'm guessing no, since you probably have Guillermo over for dinner and talk shop and shit. Plus, you're making your big sci-fi movie....which you might be not making in a second.

Dude, have you heard of this Twilight shit? I mean I hardly know anything about it, but fuck it's huge! Not only that, it's huge with chicks, and here's the kicker...it's about fucking vampires and werewolves. Dude, holy nerdgasm! Vampires and werewolves AND chicks dig it? I mean all that fucking blood and shit AND the chicks still dig? I mean the damned eternal struggle between the werewolf and vampire, I bet they rip each other to shreds!!! So, effing gore and supernatural shit and the ladies love it; count me in muther fucker!

So, you need to hit while the iron's hot my friend, you can't coast on your good looks forever. I'm proposing a movie with vampires. I mean, you know, your take on them. maybe they're robot vampires, and want our oil. Maybe they're just space vampires, from Vampirenus. Shit, I don't know.

Well that's it dude, I'm fucking going to bed. I mean, I like the night, but now that I get up at five in the morning. So in order to sparkle in the daylight I need to get to bed earlier.

Count Dougscula

Still your blog.

Dude, I swear. You're the real deal Neill. This blog is totally yours. That's why the sci fi art is at the top and the Lovecraft quick shit is at the bottom. I'm just sort of jazzed about this Guillermo thing on Sept 29th.

Still have not heard if you want to come with; let me know soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure you're busy making a movie and all, but shit, I used to make movies in like 6th grade, so it can't be that fucking hard. Right?

So anyway, I also made this quick little book to give to GDT (That's Guillermo del Toro, but written all T2 style).


Do you think he'll like it? I mean, the story sucks (because it doesn't exist and all), but it has a bunch of art. It was easy as shit to make! Dude, fucking Blurb is amazing. You could make a book while letting loose a gnarly burrito on the shitter. That's the fucking future man, and we're living it!!!

Oh, I watched the last half of District 9 on my new TV the other day. GODDAMN YOU MAKE A GOOD MOVIE! Seriously, it's way better than the shit I made in 6th grade. Although my flick had a guy in a snorkel, and I played two parts (like that chick in The Parent Trap). Still, yours was better, and I had to let you know how damned good it was...again.

Oh, your art, a slummy future city. Going back to my roots....mainly because this was an old piece I never finished. I been busy holmes, but don't worry, it's still your blog.

Alright to bed for me. Catching the bus at five.

Guillermo Doug Toro